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I recently sat down with Vandita, who is doing her master's in Business Intelligence and Analytics at Stevens Institute of Technology in New Jersey, right across from New York City. She has been living and studying there for over a year, and she gave one of the most honest accounts I have heard of what student life in New York actually looks like — especially as a girl navigating it largely on your own. Everything below comes directly from that conversation.
It feels like a movie at first — and then life hits
Vandita's first reaction when she arrived in New York? She genuinely felt like she was living inside a movie. Everything was different — the pace, the energy, the fact that nobody on the street gives you a second glance no matter what you are doing. You can walk around with a huge tripod and not a single person turns to look at you. Coming from India, that felt incredibly liberating to her. But that feeling does not last forever. Slowly, the excitement fades and the weight of responsibility sets in. Assignments, chores, managing money, figuring out your place in a new country — it all arrives at once. As she put it: it starts as a dream and becomes something you have to actively work to keep.
Three things to work on before you get on that flight
Vandita is honest that nothing can fully prepare you for this move. But if you have the time before you leave, here are the three things she recommends focusing on.
1. Build genuine mental independence
This goes beyond knowing how to cook or do laundry. Vandita means emotional independence — learning that there will not always be a shoulder to cry on. Some days you are going to have to sit with yourself, acknowledge that it is hard, pick yourself back up, and get on with it. If you go in expecting someone to always be there for you, you will struggle. Start practising now: make your own decisions, sit with discomfort, and build the habit of self-reliance.
2. Learn to manage your finances
Nobody is going to tell you what to spend or when to stop. You are completely in charge of your money from the moment you land. Start building that awareness before you go — understand your budget, think about how you will handle rent, groceries, and unexpected expenses, and get comfortable making financial decisions independently.
3. Have something that is yours — a passion, a hobby
On the days when everything feels like too much, it is the small things you love that keep you going. For Vandita, it was making videos. Whatever it is for you — painting, running, cooking, writing — hold on to it. Do not come here only academically oriented. You need something that is just for you.
Safety: what every girl needs to know
This is the section I want you to read carefully. Vandita shared something important: girls can be very trusting, and that is something to be aware of when you are out — especially in a new city where you do not yet know how things work.
Her number one rule: if you are out socialising and someone offers you anything — even a glass of water that comes to your table — do not touch it. Do not take food or drinks from people you do not know. And be mindful of how friendly you are with strangers. Knowing where to draw the line, setting clear boundaries, and staying self-aware are not optional extras here — they are essential.
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Book a Mock InterviewTrust your instincts immediately — there is no 'maybe'
Vandita shared a real experience. She was in a park near her house late at night — around 2 or 3 a.m. — after a mental breakdown over an assignment. On her way back, she noticed a man following her. She tested it: she turned right, then left, and confirmed he was following her. She did not have time to call anyone. As she got close to her building, she sprinted. He ran too — which confirmed everything. She made it inside safely. But the man waited outside for ten to fifteen minutes before leaving. She was scared to go out for a full week after that.
The lesson she took from it: your sixth sense speaks to you quickly. When something feels wrong, there is no 'maybe, probably, I'm not sure.' It is a yes or a no. If you are uncomfortable, get up and leave — do not negotiate with that feeling. And ideally, do not put yourself in that situation in the first place. Be aware of your surroundings, know what is happening around you and around your people, and act fast when something does not feel right.
Building a routine that actually holds
When Vandita first arrived, her mental health took a hit — and her routine collapsed with it. Her room looked like, in her own words, a dumpyard. She could not function. She had also changed her field from electrical engineering to data science, which added another layer of pressure. Eventually she got a reset and came back with a structure that worked. Here is what her day looks like now.
She wakes up at 7 or 7:30 a.m. and starts with a glass of milk, an egg, and some nuts. After a shower, she makes a proper breakfast — either Indian food or granola. The key habit: while making breakfast, she also preps lunch. That way she spends a maximum of 45 minutes to one hour in the kitchen for the entire day, and the same lunch usually doubles as dinner. She is done with her main work by about 1:30 p.m., has a snack around 4, attends any evening classes, and goes to the gym at night. Assignments are submitted by around 12:30 a.m., and she is asleep shortly after.
One small thing that made a big difference for her: she calls family and friends from India while she is cooking. It turns a chore into connection time, and it means she is not cooking at 9 or 10 p.m. because she was too busy earlier. The timing matters — if you cook late, your whole night gets pushed back and the rest of your routine falls apart. Your routine does not have to look exactly like hers. You might wake up at noon and still make it work. The point is to have a basic structure for studying, cooking, and self-care — and then stick to it.
Finding your people and handling loneliness
Loneliness is real here. You go from being surrounded by family and friends to spending most of your time alone. Vandita says that at first she was not in the right company — not because anything terrible happened, just because the connections and interests did not align. She slowly disconnected from those early social circles and found people who came from her hometown. Shared background gave them enough common ground to connect more deeply.
She also joined the Indian association at Stevens, which opened up more connections. Right now she has three or four people she can genuinely count on in person — and the rest of her support system is back in India, a phone call away. She makes time to call them even when life gets busy. That mix of a small local circle and staying close to people back home is what keeps her grounded.
Living with roommates: the art of coexisting
Most Indian students in New York and New Jersey live off campus because it is more affordable. That means you will almost certainly be sharing a space with people you do not know yet. Vandita's honest advice: do not assume your roommates will become your best friends. That expectation is where a lot of people get hurt early on.
What you are aiming for is peaceful coexistence. You will have differences — that is normal. What matters is how you handle them. Be open about expectations early, do not create trouble for each other, and accept that you can live well with someone without being close friends. Vandita has a private room, so the only shared spaces for her are the bathroom and kitchen. That helps. But even in closer shared setups, she says: as long as you feel comfortable and safe in your own home, you are doing it right. You cannot depend on your roommates — you need to be okay in your own space first.
Enjoy the small things every day
Vandita's final thought — and one I completely agree with — is this: find the small things that make each day worth it. For her, it is the view of the Manhattan skyline from the Stevens campus. It sounds simple, but on the hard days those small anchors matter more than you think. Be kind to people, build your support system, hold onto your routine, trust your instincts, and give yourself permission to actually enjoy where you are.
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